Years ago, after my divorce, I used to stay up late on weekdays unable to sleep due to anxiety and depression. On weekends I'd wear crazy costumes and rock out all night hoping something would save me from having to confront all my grief, my life undone, and my lost dreams. The night life grew weary, and ultimately boring.
Now, although heartache can still sneak it's way under my door, I find myself feeling (dare I say) happy. I'm enjoying my single-dom and although I look forward to meeting my life partner someday soon, I'm patient enough to enjoy the time I have right now. I would dare to say my life is composed. In bed by 10, I get up at 7am. I run. I meditate. I garden. I read and write. I stare out my window for long periods of time. My coaching clients are wonderful and bring me joy, and my writing clients are easy to work with. I know all the craziness is just inches from my grasp, and I fully intend on embracing the crazy again, but for now calmness is key.
Now, if I can only get my dog to quit snorting heroin and stop sneaking hookers in at a night through the back door. I can't blame her really, since she takes after her mother.
Yer dawg is a pimp, yo.
Posted by: drew | May 19, 2011 at 11:14 PM