Alvord 2010
Week two of the new year: This is the week I wonder why the heck I decided to have so many new goals in the first place. After a week of vigilant living I crashed and burned. But only for a few days. I'm learning what it means to pick myself up and continue to strive past my blocks.
In the book, The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chodrom she writes (in reference to meditation):
"The first couple of days we think, "I'm going to do this perfectly," and we practice with intense effort to sit right, walk right, breathe right, keep the silence, do everything. We really push; we have a project. Then at a certain point we say, "Oh, for goodness' sake! What in the world am I doing?" We say just drop the whole thing and go to the other extreme - "I couldn't care less." The humor and the beauty of practice is that gong from one extreme to another is not considered to be an obstacle; sometimes we're like a drill sergeant, sometimes we're like mashed potatoes. Basically, once we have some sort of joyful curiosity about the whole thing, it's simply all information, gathering information we need to find our own balance."
Sticking to my goals hasn't been easy. I've managed to get up early only about 4 days and have slipped into some bad habits, but each day is a gift for me to start again. I'm still getting ahead of myself, but not as quickly as I had initially thought. I think this is normal, and I'm learning a lot about myself in the process. Some things have been really successful (yoga, cardio, meditation) other things have been harder (waking up early everyday, sticking to a stringent schedule, keeping focused.) I adjust as I go, and still have my eye on the prize. My greatest gift has been a new found gentleness I have towards myself and my weaknesses.
I think the most important thing is to not give up. We all slip and slide. We all have parts of us that wants to throw in the towel. However, the best part about being human is that we get to shake off our past and know that each day is a new future. There is no need to beat ourselves up for not being perfect. Practice does not make perfect. Practice just makes us better.
+1 ;p
Posted by: daflew | January 10, 2012 at 03:53 PM
"Things To Do"
Monday: go to Gina's, rewrite/copy erotica, write new poem
Tuesday: go to lunch with daughter, return back support to physical therapist, get rid of kidney stone
Wednesday: help daughter retrieve car, go to WERD, go to Gina's
Thursday: fix supper after work, watch Jeopardy, hug Gina
Friday: pay mid-month bills, maybe go to karaoke
Saturday: trail run, Infected Mushroom
Sunday: lie in bed with Gina until 9:00, then write
Posted by: BadAss | January 10, 2012 at 03:55 PM