Sage Cohen is my guest blogger today. Sage is not only a wonderful writer, she is a wonderful person and embodies a trust and truth in her words and her life. She is the author of The Productive Writer (just released from Writer’s Digest Books); Writing the Life Poetic, and the poetry collection Like the Heart, the World.
For those of you that love to write but get caught up not writing (eh, hem like me) because, you know, the storage area needs to get reorganized one more time and you absolutely have to help your friend that is having their fifth melt down about the same guy, or because you HAD to read the new best seller about the best way to write a book ....This blog is for you.
I asked her what the single most important thing a writer needs to face in order to be successful. Here is Sage's answer:
The Single Most Important Thing a Writer Needs to Face so They Can Succeed: Fear
A guest post from author Sage Cohen
“Courage is fear that has said its prayers.”—Dorothy Bernard
Fear is just a part of life—a useful part. It lets us know when there is danger. It lets us know when we are vulnerable. It advises us when to proceed with caution in unfamiliar territory. But there are also instances when fear fails to protect us, and actually limits us. When we have an opportunity to grow (one that is not life threatening, of course) and don’t take it because we are afraid, this creates more real estate for fear to move deeper into our psyche. So, in essence, the more we avoid fear, the more fear we create.
How do you recognize fear? Sometimes it’s obvious; you get that “I’m going to throw up or pass out” kind of feeling. But fear has a few, sneaky disguises—namely procrastination and perfectionism. If you have a goal that you’re avoiding moving toward, you’re wasting time designated for your writing or you’re obsessively polishing something that you never complete, chances are good that fear is at play.
The simple, yet profoundly challenging task for any writer who wants to be propelled rather than short-circuited is to do what you fear, within reason – as much as you can. The more you do it, and it doesn’t kill you, the more you will be retraining your body and mind that it has authority over fear, no matter how distracting the transmission is. Knowing you will be afraid and trusting that you will survive, and most likely even be successful, are two very powerful lessons that can only be learned the hard way: by doing what you fear and coming out the other side. Following are a few tips for doing so.
Think like a dog
The taproot of fear, I think, is our imagined sense of how we measure up to all of those other “perfect” people out there, in whose shadow we feel inferior. When I am working with my own fear, I refer to my dog Henry, who looks like a dwarf Lab, a thick, black bullet of a midsized dog on basset hound–sized legs. Due to his unusual proportions, he faces some unique ambulatory challenges. But Henry wrestles and fetches and begs with just as much passion and delight as the next dog. He doesn’t seem bogged down with the burden of comparison—whether or not his normally proportioned canine sister performs better or worse than he does, for example. Rather, Henry focuses exclusively on what he wants and how to get it.
In my writing life, I try to think like Henry. I dive in because it’s joyful to do so. I stay focused on the end goal without self-consciousness. And I don’t worry about what anyone else is doing or how it might compare to how I’m doing—unless I see a strategy that’s working well at serving up treats or tennis balls—those are worthy of cataloging and imitating.
You are expert enough to try
I am a recovering perfectionist. My lifelong litany has been that I don’t know enough, am not talented enough or impressive enough to present myself as an expert on anything, ever. This kept me from doing much of anything with my writing life for years. Then I had a rather simple but significant “aha” moment. I started noticing that writers who didn’t seem to be any more perfect than I am were enjoying success.
It occurred to me then that maybe it wasn’t my job to decide whether or not I was good enough. Instead, I decided it was my job to write to the best of my ability, take the risk of sending it out for publication, and let the folks who make such decisions decide whether my stuff was any good. This entirely revolutionized my writing life.
I want to be clear that I did not stop that inner voice from judging me harshly. I simply decided to step aside and focus on something else. I opened up the question of the worthiness of my writing to a wider audience, taking the chance that someone, somewhere might not be as negative as my own inner editor. And I was right.
The fact of the matter is this: While you’re busy obsessing about not knowing enough about a particular topic or market (and therefore not taking the appropriate steps toward developing your expertise, understanding your market, and sending it out), some other writer is going to write down what they know on that very topic and pitch it. This person is 100 percent more likely than you are to land the assignment, because they took the biggest step of all: Asking for it.
Yes, that success counts
I often find myself arguing with students and friends who have a whole litany of reasons why their various successes “don’t count.” These folks always have a persuasive story about how they could have done better—published in a more reputable magazine or presented to a more prestigious crowd. Of course, there are always opportunities to do better. And in my experience, the most efficient way to approach those opportunities is by being grateful for what we are accomplishing right now. And understanding that we build slowly over time toward achieving our big goals with one tangible foothold at a time.
The truth is that no matter what your level of expertise and experience may be, chances are that there’s someone out there that knows more than you and someone who knows less. And no matter where your writing life takes you, this will always be true.
I invite you to relax, put that notch in your belt, a clip in your scrapbook file, a link in your blog or whatever you need to do to celebrate each and every opportunity and honor that comes your way. Don’t berate the people admiring you (or berate yourself) if your current audience is not the Pulitzer Prize committee. We all have to start somewhere. I propose that you start by giving yourself permission to appreciate the success you have created, no matter how insignificant you might believe it to be. Right now. I know you can.
If you’re committed to working with fear, I’m not saying that you are guaranteed success in the form of publication; but you are guaranteed success in the form of evolution. Each time you set a goal and move toward it, you learn. And you are expert enough to do that right now. When you commit to listening to feedback, learning from rejection, and continuously refining your writing and publishing skills, you will be doing everything you can to increase the odds of getting the results you want.
So why not bury perfection’s and procrastination’s handcuffs in the backyard and get down to the work of believing in what you are doing, trusting that you will get better along the way, sending that query or poem or story or essay out, and making the most of whatever comes next?
About Sage Cohen
Sage Cohen She is the author of The Productive Writer (just released from Writer’s Digest Books); Writing the Life Poetic, and the poetry collection Like the Heart, the World. She blogs about all that is possible in the writing life at pathofpossibility.com, where you can: Download a FREE "Productivity Power Tools" workbook companion to The Productive Writer. Get the FREE, 10-week email series, "10 Ways to Boost Writing Productivity" when you sign up to receive email updates. Sign up for the FREE, Writing the Life Poetic e-zine. Plus, check out the events page for the latest free teleclasses, scholarships and more.
